I hate monogamy. I find it dull and boring and dreadful. I don’t believe that human beings have it in them to be monogamous. We are creatures with innate desires. I don’t know very many animals that are monogamous. Most of the males have sex with multiple females each spring. They usually have a gigantic fight to decide who will get the girl. How romantic is it to have two alpha males fighting over you? Nobody ever fought over me. Not even once.
I’ve heard a saying “everyone cheats.” “People who say they don’t are lying.” I wonder if we are holding ourselves up as couples to an unattainable standard? As I have grown older, I have a much more open mind in terms of relationships. Being married is not easy. It takes hard work, determination and most important; imagination. I’ve taught myself how to be a grown up and sacrifice my desires for the greater good. My younger self had little self-control. I doubt the word no was in my vocabulary until I turned thirty. I have a good friend who says “sex is like pizza, even when it’s bad, it’s still pretty good.”
My efforts to maintain serious romantic relationships led to epic failure. It always ended with drama. I always acted scorned and ridiculous. How embarrassing. I knew in my heart, all of them were Mr. Right Now. Dating was tedious and tiresome. I never uttered the words “let’s just skip the small talk and get right to it then! I don’t want to watch your sporting events. I could give a shit. Shut up and take your pants off Mr. Wrong.”
Society teaches girls that if they want sex they are bad. If you admit to enjoying it, you’re a slut. Oh the utter guilt and shame for having a fucK for fuck’s sake! This double standard caused me so much pain and suffering when I was young. I stayed in horrible situations with men who were totally wrong for me and should have been shown the door the morning after. After my daughter was born, I decided that I would free myself from the ridiculous pressure to have a “relationship.” If I want it, I’m going to get it and NOT call him the next day. I didn’t hate men, I loved men. What I hated was the relationship part.
Freeing myself from the lies that I was taught about sex and gender brought me a new found happiness. I enjoyed life before but it was always marred by all the turmoil of trying to escape the confines of men who were selfish pigs, abusive jerks, simpletons, or whores. I was finally putting myself first. One day I woke up and said, “hear me world, I will never, ever, ever attend another sporting event, concert, festival or party that I do not want to attend just to make a man happy.” I don’t even like watching baseball or hockey. They’re BORING! I would much rather be at a punk rock show salivating over men with questionable morals and hygiene.
That is how I became a woman. I became true to myself. I put my needs first. If you make yourself the number one priority in your life and do the things you love, I guarantee you will be happy. As a result of becoming a true woman, magically a man will appear that you can stand the sight of in the morning.
Love always –